Thank God I’m a Philly Boy

So I wrote these song lyrics in a weak moment sometime after the 2008 Phillies won the World Series and before the Eagles won the Super Bowl in 2018. I sent them along to Chuck Brodsky and a few other Philly recording artist folks, hoping someone would record them. Alas, no one picked them up. I can’t understand why.

“Thank God I’m A Philly Boy (The Irreverent Philly Fan Anthem)”
(Sung to the tune of John Denver’s “Thank God I’m A Country Boy”)
Lyrics by Chris Bauer

Well growing up in Philly we were never laid back.
Ain’t a lot of crap old Philly fans like us can hack.
Want the big money players not to be on the slack.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

All our daddies taught us how to strut our stuff in the middle
Of the street with our Mummers gettin’ drunk just a little.
Told us life’s too short so don’t never ever settle.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

Refrain:
Got blue collar mouths and blue collar middles
Gettin’ in your ugly face quite a lot, not a little
With a cheese steak or a hoagie, lotsa beer, no fancy wooder (water).
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

When the times get tough well the tough get going.
All the heroes suck it up, all the goats leave knowing
Gotta duck from the batteries we’ll all be a-throwin’.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

So much talk we’re a brother-lovin’ city like no other,
It ain’t true, no sirree, earn your keep you lazy motha.
Don’t be calling us names ’cause we’ll tear you another.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

(Refrain)

Got the Phillies and the Flyers and the Sixers and the Eagles.
Not a fan? Shut your mouth, you don’t get to call them Beagles.
Make a play, you’re okay, if you don’t, you should croak.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

You can love us you can hate us do you think we even care?
Ain’t no smarter sports fan you’ll be finding anywhere.
Ask our humble opinion we’ll be happy to share.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

(Refrain)

Northeast, Southwest, North and South Philly,
Never sittin’ on the job we all love our Quaker Billy.
Standing tall on City Hall, ain’t no building up his as-s-s-s…
God loves all his Philly boys.

“Philadelphia World Champs!” Hadn’t heard it in a while.
Want a deuce not a truce, gotta win by a mile.
Turn ’em loose never lose there can be no denial.
Thank God I’m a Philly boy.

One last time, know who’s boss, don’t be looking for applause
’CAUSE WE PAID OUR BUCK, don’t matter if you’re Santa Claus.
Philly friends? No, Philly fans! So till then, long pause…

BOO-O-O-O-O!

Thank God I’m a Philly boy!
Thank God I’m a Philly boy!

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